Being a Boss Doesn’t Have to Be Intense: The Elegant Power of Self-Discipline (Ft. Jennie Kim)
- seon reverie
- Jun 15, 2025
- 5 min read
When you hear words such as "Power", "Boss", and "Discipline", what comes to mind? Many people tend to think that channel such energy of those words mean that you have to relentlessly push for more, keep up with strict schedules, and have an intense scary aura. It could feel intense, maybe even overwhelming at times to be in such a high regard and position of power. However, it really does not have to be that way, physically and mentally. What if being a boss also allows you to channel softness, elegance, femininity, and steadiness? A successful woman is an output of the co-existence of empowerment and peace.
Redefining Power & Boss Energy
Power is not always about loud commands or nonstop hustle. True power can be calm, quiet, and deeply rooted in self-awareness. This is because you don't need to prove to yourself or anyone of that matter that you are confident through force, intensity, or verbally speaking. That type of energy shows and radiates. Boss energy does not have to mean a harsh and abrasive persona either, but rather grounded in natural kindness, emotional intelligence, and authenticity, which are actually much better traits in a work setting.
Leading with grace, where decisions come from clarity, intuition, and boundaries that are set with care will undoubtedly showcase the strength and consistency you have in you. This is the elegant power that many ambitious women are beginning to embrace, proving that softness and leadership are not opposites, but beautiful complements.
Seon Muse: Jennie Kim
Take Jennie Kim as an example. Known globally as a member of BLACKPINK, she exemplifies quiet boss power in how she manages her career and personal brand. The Chanel muse, beyond her superstar status, quietly built herself as a CEO with her own label, OD Atelier, showing her savvy business sense without making a big public spectacle about it. Within the CEO shell, she is a bubbly girl who loves to have fun, loves animals (especially Capybaras), and self care rituals like aromatherapy (Jennie's Daily Essentials Video). This year, she performed solo at Coachella, a major milestone, yet she maintained a grounded, calm presence throughout, letting her talent and professionalism do the talking. Jennie rarely broadcasts her every move on social media, but really lets us know she wants to deliver quality work and meaningful achievements behind the scenes + showing us her love for cold plunging as a way to stay centered and grounded (Instagram Story). Psychologically, this approach of "succeeding in silence" helps maintain focus and minimizes external pressures, allowing her to nurture her craft and business with intentional discipline.
Self-Discipline
Self-discipline is more nuanced than just "forcing yourself" to do things that you don't want to do. At its core, self-discipline is about creating sustainable habits and aligning your actions with your deeper goals and values. It's a one at a time thing that should gradually become just a regular part of your day to day life. It's less about punishment and more about self-respect, choosing what truly serves your growth and well-being over fleeting impulses. This means pacing yourself, being patient, and allowing room for mistakes and learning along the way.
Marshmallow Experiment
True power is about the quiet strength to delay gratification and stay committed to long-term goals. Walter Mischel and Ebbe Ebbesen conducted what's known as The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, which perfectly illustrates this idea. Children were given a marshmallow and were told that if they could wait 15 minutes before eating it, they would receive a second marshmallow as a reward. Those who practiced this form of self-discipline, delaying short-term pleasure, were later found to achieve greater success and lead healthier, more balanced lives. In cognitive psychology, it has been proven that whenever faced with struggles or distractions, a self-disciplined individual's prefrontal cortex is activated immediately, resulting in cognitive control.
Elegant Self-Discipline: Rituals Are Power
Setting boundaries with kindness, knowing when to say no so you can say yes to what truly matters. Understanding your emotions and simultaneously understanding how to fix that. It means planning your work in a way that respects your rhythms and energy levels, instead of pushing yourself to the edge. It's also about cultivating rituals that nurture both your productivity and your soul. What I typically do is a night time journaling session, to really write out what I am grateful for and all the things I've achieved that day. This psychologically counts as an outlet for your brain to feel acknowledgement of your achievements without having to tell anyone your successes. I will elaborate more on this later! Taking mindful breaks is also important as well.
According to a UC Berkeley-backed publication, rituals are defined by a combination of formal, rigid, and repetitive physical actions, paired with symbolic psychological meaning. They are often "goal demoted", meaning their visible actions don't appear to have a clear, practical purpose, yet they are so incredibly effective. This "causal opaqueness," as researchers Kapitany and Nielsen describe it, is what gives rituals their quiet strength. These patterns train the brain for focus and presence, further propelling us with self-discipline.
Jennie Kim also has her fair share of rituals as mentioned previously. Behind the glamorous image lies a woman deeply committed to small, intentional rituals that keep her grounded. In interviews and behind the scenes footage, Jennie often shares how she prioritizes slow mornings, dedicates time to meditate, cold plunge for 5 minutes every day, and making sure she has a body and scalp massager with some aroma oil to relax her tense muscles. These are just to name a few, and a more detailed guide on her rituals will be published soon~
The Art of Succeeding in Silence
One of the most underrated strategies for elegant self-discipline is mastering the art of quiet success. My favorite topic truly. This means ressiting the urge to broastcast every step of your jounry or share all of your goals publicly. When you keep your plans close to the chest, you protect your energy from unnecessary scrutiny, doubt, and distractions.
Succeeding in silence allows you to fully work itself, without the pressure of external expecations or the need for constant validation. Truly the only validation you need is you rown/ It cultivates a kind of inner strength, where your progress speaks louder than words.
Psychologically, this can foster greater motivation and reduce anxiety, as you're less caught up in others' opinions. Instead your results become your most powerful message, creating a magnetic pull of respect and admiration. Trust me, people don't actually care about the process, so it's better to keep it to yourself.
Conclusion: Reframing "Boss Energy"
True power is not about overpowering others or burning yourself out. It is about navogating challenges with resilience and intention, showing up for your goals while honoring your limits. It is about putting action behind words. This balance leads to sustainable success, deeper fulfillment, and a more authentic kind of boss. Good luck boss ladies~
Seon Reverie Writer: Liz
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